Volga Birthday
Many verses contributed by
members of the Clan O’Gordon
 

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Doom destruction and despair
People dying every where

Chorus:
Happy Birthday (unh), Happy birthday(unh)

May the cities in your wake
Burn like candles on your cake…

Here the women wail and weep,
Kill them all but spare the sheep…

So you’re twenty nine again,
Don’t tell lies to your old friends!…

You must be wedded very soon,
The baby’s due the next full moon…

You’re a period cook ‘tis true,
Just ask the beetles in the stew…

We brought you linen, white as clouds,
Now we’ll sit and sew your shroud…

It’s your birthday, never fear;
You’ll be dead this time next year…

‘Twas bad enough your hair turned grey,
But not it’s falling out they say…
 

The Black Plague has just struck your town,
You yourself feel quite run down…

They steal your sword, your gold, your house
They take your sheep but not your spouse…

Your servants steal, your wife’s untrue,
Your children plot to murder you…

Now you’ve reached the age you are,
Your demise cannot be far…

Though you’re turning twenty nine
Age to you is like fine wine…

You saved the damsel in distress,
Now your social life’s a mess…

Were I sitting in your shoes,
I’d go out and sing the blues…

Now you’ve lived another year,
And your death is drawing near…

Now your fail-bait days are done,
Let’s go out and have some fun…

People dying on the earth,
Go ahead, eat your dessert…

And don’t you give a care,
If you should meet a wandering bear
He left for hoe an hour ago,
And he doesn’t give a care…

And don’t you give a care
That we’ve drunk the barrel dry
We’ve whiskey for the morning
And a barrel standing by…