Beer maids in Valhalla

Oh you grim reaper, donít come for me
I'm off to the heavens in fine company
To a great hall with timbers that sparkle and shine
With endless entertainment good food beer and wine

I'm off with my girlfriends dressed golden and steel
We'll fly down to battle I love how it feels
To a field full of slaughter we'll plunder and pick
All that death and destruction I won't even get sick

And when we come back we'll be high as can be
With a whole herd of Vikings Ė well how can this be?
Ďcuz we are the Valkyries, goddess of the skies
and if you wanna be my boyfriend then you've gotta die

With swords held high you can hear us cry;
Barmaids of Valhalla
Barmaids of Valhalla
Barmaids of Valhalla,

To be a barmaid in Valhalla, ah that would be swell
Lots of eating lots of drinking beats the pants off of hell
All those big guys with muscles and necks really thick
But the best part about it they're the ones we handpick

All those warriors with muscles that ripple when they drink
Great kings and princes they donít have to think
We donít choose for valor like you have been told
We just choose the cute ones that have lots of gold


Now we never get tired, we play and we drink
We drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink
Sometimes we wrestle and tear off our clothes
Ill pull on your hair and you'll bloody my nose.

We play games like stickball and run through the halls
We knock people over, get kicked in the blank
Broken arms broken shoulders broken legs broken heads
Broken ears broken toes, but it doesn't matter Ė were dead


Now donít tell me about heaven and the afterlife
No harpist on the clouds, no savior's wife
Won't bow down to Buddha, Vishnu or Allah
I've found my salvation, I'm a barmaid in Valhalla